Tuesday, February 28, 2017

I wish you'd die sooner

Elmira's cat just died this midnight at the hospital. At first, I wanted to ask her if she's okay, but that'd be a silly question. Who's going to be okay when your cat died? Yet, you have to attend your class because--grades, duh.

I understand what she feels right now, not so long ago my cat died too. I cried so hard--I'm not even close with this stray cat.

Even though your cat is annoying as hell, for example like mine, peeing on my bed and pooing near the desk I'm using to study, you wouldn't want them to die sooner. You all cat owners are lying if you've never, at least once, wished your cat to die because you're too stressed with their doing, but you never wanted your wish to be real, right?

The same goes to your family. There will be time when you miss them so much. So is having the urge to punch them. No matter how shitty, you're going to be stuck with them for the rest of your life--unless you die or run away.

Last night something happened that made me want to punch one of them. I silently cried and woke up with puffy eyes. Then, I realized something. You still need them sooner or later.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Free particle

Hi, okay, what's up? (Sorry I really suck at writing opening). It's been more than a month since I last wrote here. As a second semester freshman.. it's time for organization open recruitment (oprec for short). There were 2 organization, first one is BEM--student executive board, second one is HM--student association. I was interested in HMIK but then I thought... organization isn't just for me. I don't think I'd be able to commit in a organization for about a year. Worse, I couldn't even stand the commitee that I joined. It's just not for me.

So, I decided to be a free particle--partikel bebas. I might join some commitees here and there, whatever suits me. Oh, of course I'm not the only free particle. Some of my close friends didn't join the organization for the same reason as mine. Seeing my friends who joined it.. to be honest I'm kinda envy. No, I definitely don't envy those who have to go home at >9 pm because of meeting. It's just.. I don't know and I will not explain.

If you're following my second account, you might saw my mellow-breakdown-post-pre-university. I was scared as hell, afraid that I won't have any friends. Don't ask me why I thought of that, it's just that.. thing. I was never a good talker especially to a new person or a person I barely know, but I have a few close friends so it's good enough for me.

Anyway, I got good score on last term so I hope this term will work the way I want it. Some rough patch are okay but 2017, please be good to me.